Aptly titled.

Quote of two days ago...

"Don't roll your eyes at me in that tone."
-Train conductor on MetroNorth

¡feliz cumpleaños!

to LANDON!!!

Los Pancakes

I once wanted to open a restaurant that only served different varieties of sweet and savory pancakes. After this morning's* carrot and butter buckwheat pancakes, that dream is alive again.



*By "morning", I mean noon.

Lyrical Genius

For those who aren't R Kelly fans, you are missing out on what is quite possibly the most profound song about a break-up that has ever been recorded and then turned into a DIY video for Youtube.
I freaking love this video. Real talk.

Good Film, Bad Film...plus kitty

The other day, I noticed that a film I had worked on last year is now available to watch instantly on Netflix. cool.
So I watched it. It sucked. I was disappointed in Cary Elwes and Andie MacDowell, not because their performances were poor, far from it, but because the film hardly did them or the hard work of the equally talented crew much justice.
Note to self: writing and editing are extremely important, never take them for granted.
However, the silver lining to this ordeal is that a day or two later, I received a package in the mail containing a DVD copy of another film I worked on last year.
It was exceptional. Especially in comparison to the former. It made me happy to have participated in such a well-done example of good independent filmmaking. cool.
To sum up:

= boo...

The Line = YAY!!!

Also, I find this to be funny...

;)

La la la la lava

I now posses a lava lamp, for the first time in, well, ever.
It's pretty fantastic I must say, but I have noticed some things:

A. Lava lamps are kinda like fish tanks: both contain liquid and moving parts (i.e., lava bubbles and fish) that people like to stare at for the pretty colors and the relaxing mood that they facilitate. Lava lamps, however, do not need to be fed. Bonus.
B. Lava lamps make it fun and easy to waste electricity and heat energy.
C. Lava lamps create a nice ambiance, but cannot actually function as lamps. Do not try to read by lava lamplight.
D. Lava lamps were apparently made in different colors and sizes, but if memory serves, I have only seen one kind: blue, regular size.

I would like to add that lava lamps are just as cool now as they were when I was a kid, or more accurately, when the lava lamp fad was reincarnated during the late 80's and early 90's, but I definitely think that when my friends see it, their responses will be
A. "Is that a lava lamp?"
B. "Why do you have a lava lamp!?"
C. "Okay, weird..."
D. "Well, whatever makes you happy."

Whatever. I'll do what I want. And I'll do it with the lava lamp on.
Peace.

Pam Says:

"I don't care if I am stuck in August, I'm not staring at that dog!"

Pam Says:

"Your party starts at five, right? What if we want to party at noon?"

Pam Says:

(after imbibing a substantial amount of wine...)
"What? I'm just trying to stay warm."
*sip*

ass chicken

Today, in front of the Food Emporium in Union Square, I heard someone say this:
"they've got some bangin'-ass chicken salad"

Yeah.

I don't know exactly what qualifies chicken salad as being of the "bangin'-ass" variety, but it does not seem like a healthy or appetizing achievement.
Neither does "frozen-ass" chicken, (see below) or any kind of chicken that could be described using the word ass.
Now, I don't eat poultry, (except at Renaissance Faires), but if I did, I would appreciate it if the world would kindly keep its ass off my chicken.
Right?





(artwork from www.nataliedee.com)

Between Birds and Pigs.

I would like to challenge the phrase "eats like a bird", and the reason it denotes a modest and light eater.
True, most smaller birds feed on little more than berries, seeds, and insects, and their larger, "of prey" counterparts probably don't make a habit of gorging themselves multiple times per day.
But still, birds feed themselves enough to induce a (seemingly) constant state of defecation, and their young greedily gobble-down the regurgitated contents of their parents' stomachs with vigor, which, when applied to the human world, sounds more like a serious health problem than a dainty dietary preference.

Baby Fat

Dear Cranky Fat Kid from the L train,
You almost tripped me when you stopped and wheeled around directly in my path in order to reach for a forgotten Metro card that was laying on the filth-encrusted subway ground.
You, Mr. Cranky Pants, can't be a day older than 5 and you could already stand to lose 100 pounds, and this makes me sad. Not because you are fat, not because your parents neglect you and pacify your fits with bags of Doritos, but because you are a victim of government subsidized agricultural surpluses that have spawned the barely-edible, non-nutritious, artificially-flavored, waist-band-expanding corporate monoliths that have a quick, cheap, and easy stranglehold on the eating habits of your family, your community's families, and families all over the country.
I am sorry that you have already, at your tender age, been cheated by the money-loving bastards who sit at the top of The Man's fast food empire.
How can Americans sit idly by, professing with the mouths that kiss their mothers that the United States is truly a Democracy, when the conglomerates of the rich and powerful control how the "less fortunate" will eat? How can we still view dripping burgers and fries as fond childhood memories when a growing number of 5-year-olds across the land are sweating in 20-degree weather because of their Happy Meal-induced girth?
I don't know.
But I am on your side, and I forgive your lack of etiquette, Little Discarded Metro Card Enthusiast, because the fates are set very heavily against you. No pun intended.

Oooo, pretty

Hookah smoke is quite a lovely thing to behold when manipulated by the breeze from a box fan.

I do believe I just wrote a poem. I astound me.

Brother Wisdom

"There's nothing more romantic than a pre-nup."
-Tim

Mommy, where do larvae come from?

A pair of randy insects chose to mate partially in mid-flight, partially in Bethany's personal space last night.

It was amazing.

To quote: "aaAAHHHH, EW! BUGS!! MATING!!! IN MY LAP!!!!"

Coach Robbins and Coach Dunne

This is an ode to one of my favorite shows....

Oh Sanctuary, how you entertain and inspire;
You are a cunning genius in the ways your characters weave morality and human emotion into the fabric of mystery, adventure, and amazing leather outfits.
Bad-assity level: 46.8
Sactuary; Where the ladies are gorgeous, powerful, and ahead of their time,
The dudes are equally as impressive on paper as they are in fitted V-neck T-shirts,
The hallways are full of monsters and mermaids and other wonders of evolutionary progress,
And every room looks exactly like my future dream home.
I
love
this
show.

And I love you, Dr. Will Zimmerman and Henry Foss, you dog you ;)

www.sanctuaryforall.com

Nice hair, kid.

My cousin looks like Justin Bieber...and they both play the guitar...and are single, ladies.
Gross.

Captian Planet knows what's up

Thanks, Allison ;)

Pam Says:

"Where did I pull this out of?!"

Pam Says:

"Marriage is not a lifetime of happiness and love."

Relaxing Day

The day after Easter Sunday shall henceforth be known as Relaxing Day.

Happy Easter!

What's with Today, today?

This morning I got a letter from the government informing me that I will not be receiving a tax refund.
I'm mildly pissed. Damn the Man.

However, it is Good Friday, and a lot of good has already canceled-out Uncle Sam's douche-baggery.

I have clean laundry.
I made fresh juices this morning with the juicer that Allison so generously brought home for us (mmmm...carrot juice...).
I also made some delicious beets and noodle soup.
I got a job!
I received an Easter card from Pam and the rest of my family.
I am going to go to the park right now to eat ice cream with Bethany Hartzell.

Yep, all-in-all, there's quite a bit to be happy about and thankful for.
Eat it, New York State Department of Taxation and Finance.

On that note, here's an adorable picture of a baby seal and some kittens from Treehugger.com:

I want this.

In existence: a very large trunk that has the aesthetic of an antique wood/leather/brass luggage piece, but in fact, is deceptively more awesome than it sounds, because it transforms into a classy work space...






...just imagine that in an Old Man Lounge. Perfect, no?

Pam Says (to one of the dogs):

"No! I'm going to sit down and relax and you're going to let... me... alone."

*Thorla would like to thank Landon for submitting this Pam Quote*

Li'l Brudder

Look who has a website...

www.landonwisephotography.com

Pam Says:

"Sh*t because you're having a heart attack, or sh*t because you're a prime candidate?"

Worlds Collide, (The Ballad of Being a Terrible Person)

Two nights ago, as I was exiting the M train to go home after working until 2am, a man entered the car that I had been traveling in. This man looked like he had been beaten mercilessly; his face was bleeding and completely covered with scrapes and welts.
He was walking without difficulty and seemed to be coherent, but he was in bad shape.

His ability to get himself home may rationalize my reaction, but I am still a terrible person because my second thought, (preceded by the understandable 'oh, shit') was, "That doesn't look believable. If he was was injured that bad he would have dirt and blood on his clothes as well."

Apparently my brain is always on a film set.
My brain needs to learn that real life is not a movie.

Pam Says:

"I wanna park in front of the big tree!"

I'm on the Internet

...and in my pajamas, no less.

http://www.kidinthefrontrow.com/2010/03/interview-with-film-make-up-artist.html

Word from Wise

If you can avoid it, do not squirt liquid hand soap on your Blackberry, place it in an invisible puddle of water, and then sit on it for the entire journey home.
It will cost you a lot of money to replace your keypad.

But the new tracking ball will be pretty sweet.

Dangerdame Dishwashing

Today, I cut myself while washing dishes, for the third time in a period of a few months.
No, I was not washing a knife.
No, I didn't break something.
No, I don't have dry, fragile, cracking dish-pan hands.
I'm just that hardcore about cleaning dishes. apparently.

At least it didn't bleed this time. Oy vey.

Smart investment.

I have come to realize that despite their utmost importance to me now, there is no way to prescribe enough value to how important my friends will be to me in the future.

I have conquered laziness...

I created my very first hand-made reusable lady pad today before 10am, and I made it out of a 100% organic cotton T-shirt that I don't wear anymore. I'm so freakin' productive and green this morning, and it feels goooood.

Pam Says:

"Look at me, I'm on a horse. Look at your man, he's in a broken chair."

(the other) Coach Lee

Pam Says:

"I know you think you don't snore, but hello! If you wake up with Cheetos in your nose, you'll know why."

Pam Says:

"Girl's gotta make a profit."

on to the next One

The video for Jay-Z's 'On To The Next One' is an absolutely stunning master work. It brilliantly juxtaposes the more opulent, seductive side of hip-hop culture with a primitive, basal human experience: the dichotomic fascination with, and repulsion of, death and the unknown.
When confronted with such dark and evoking imagery, the human psyche instinctively covers its eyes, but then can't help itself from sneaking glances through slightly parted fingers. The allure of the tulle-clad dancers and the ascendant rapper himself amplify the urge to stare, further encouraging the brain to accept that which it longs to indulge in, but usually rejects.
Skulls, goth, and tribal paint alongside expensive sneakers and bling. The sinister alongside the desirable. Dear lord, this video is artistic genius.
Anyone who believes that it is a glorified visual pedestal for devil worship is not only horridly mistaken, but also denying themselves an opportunity to allow their fears to excite and inspire them.

What else are siblings for?

Today I painted-up my sister's face and took pictures of her in the snow.

Images to follow.

I heart Das Racist.

This morning, I fell in love with the music of Das Racist. Oh man, so much in love.

Please listen and feel free to join me when I see them live sometime in the (hopefully) near future.

Official site

Rainbow in the Dark video

(Warning: not safe for work...kinda...)

Coach Link

Badassity level: 6

This morning I found myself struggling to gracefully open a bag of cereal. So I decided to open it with this...

Worked like a charm. (A very pointy and slightly dangerous charm.)

Thank you, Biscuit ;)

Better than asparagus.

I wish that my urine smelled like popcorn and hot butter.

Pam Says:

"Who's that guy who's kinda scary? Oh, Christopher Walken."

Honey roasted

Honey Roasted is my favorite kind of roasted.

Great Scot!

Yours truly is currently lounging about in the Mary Queen of Scots room of the Brae Loch Inn, Cazenovia, NY.

This place is magical, and stuffed to the gills with all things Scottish. Last night, I drank some 18-year Laphroaig Scotch before relaxing in the velvety cellar-level lounge.
The room that I am sharing with the Producer and Production Designer is embellished with a huge princess-y bed (with memory foam mattress, this thing is amazing!), antique floral wallpaper, a portrait of Mary herself, and a tile-lined fireplace.
There are dogs and bagpipe music in the lobby, alongside a gift shop that sells kilts and raccoon fur ear muffs.
I am so happy and have never wanted to go to Scotland so badly in my life.










The inn is said to be haunted by several apparitions, but the crew has yet to see anything supernatural. Hopefully the ghosts will warm-up to us before we leave ;)

Grab bag!

TeeFury is selling mystery T-shirts at the reduced price of $5 until midnight tomorrow. Sample images of shirt designs that one could receive upon blindly ordering are available, and most of them are super rad.
I want that.

"Possible Shirts"

Coach Kim

Lost a Day

I spent all day yesterday thinking that it was Tuesday, when, in fact, it was Wednesday.
Lesson learned: Ignorance may be bliss, but what you don't know can indeed hurt you.

Coach Campbell

Coach Andrews

Coach Bernal

Coach Roshan

Coach Lee

Coach Meyers

*Dedicated to Cassia*

Carniverous Sticker Art

Arks da Shark, a Philadelphia native, (if a shark could be a native of an inland city) is out there, making the world a cooler place and speaking out against shark finning.
Free sticker packages can be requested from the artist, especially if you have your own sticker art to trade. Check it...

Arks on Myspace
Arks on Flickr